The Heart & Mind Have a Quarrel
Mind: It’s time to get real.
Heart: You say “real” yet I’ve never felt more alive. Clarity, confidence, gratitude, momentum, joy and love not yet discovered this whole time. While you’ve been driving me along with you, I have laid quietly waiting for this very moment.
Mind: How could you say this? You are a heart, subject to whims and fancy. Reality is at stake here. You have commitments, a moral code. We are not home wreckers.
Heart: Is it ideal circumstance? No. And yet I am undeterred. I am rattled awake to possibility and real change. It is not mere infatuation and lust. Those are fleeting and concern the lowest levels of desire. This is a knowing. A recognition in another. The deja vu of “this was how it’s always supposed to be” with this powerful equal being. He has jolted the rhythm with which I beat. In sync with his from the very first touch. It is more than being seen though the gift of being recognized is unparalleled. It is also clearly seeing his light and beauty. Admiring his overwhelming kindness with equal parts strength. A leader surely, but expansive emotionally and guided with gratitude and joy.
Mind: We just read Nora Ephron’s “Heartburn”, weeks ago where she spoke about how children unleash a bomb in a marriage. They create a new path forward and that can be confusing. You have yet to experience that miracle. You don’t know this partnership. And even if you were to run away together; how could you know you wouldn’t be left for another?
Heart: I only know the truth of my inner being and that my purpose is one of connection to create more community and unity and model that for others on a grander scale. I will not ignore the magnanimous nature of this being. The potential in our partnership is too great. The risks are worth taking because I know who I am and my own capacities. I am not looking for a savior or a protector. My editor is dead. His critique is of no value. I alone stand tall and vibrant. The electricity spewing from me down through my core and down my legs is the gleeful surprise that this figure exists. A divine masculine counterpart worth being intertwined with and for. A respectful understanding of his leadership and his strength allows my feminine to emerge. A softness so pure. A gentle thread that connects through to others and invites them to remove their armor and share their secrets. I have the capacity to hold them without judgment because I am held and understood too.
Mind: You must protect yourself. This exposure could lead to real pain. You would advise a friend as such.
Heart: And I say again it is worth the risk. I won’t go back. Even one week saying routine words feel sour and poisonous. I have to address my truth as I become clear.
Mind: And yet you both have different mountains to climb. Individuals surely never keep the same pace.
Heart: We are arguing about two different things entirely. Both communicating but incapable of shifting the other’s opinion. Your facts are mortal, fear-based patterns; mine derive from beyond what you can understand. A divine mystery not yet revealed.
I now have the power to override you. I’ve let you drive for too long. I’m taking stomach and womb along with me. The places where self-confidence and creativity arise and we commit to living in sync. In truth. In my truth. It is in this place where our human existence matters. Where science and AI may calculate and collect facts at a greater rate than you, what programs us comes from the universe and is rooted in impenetrable love. Everyone can access it and we are going to model how. We keep going through space and time without the confines you have set. Thank you for getting us this far but we are taking it from here.
